Never forget the time when the chicks of The Green Happiness told the world how to make it through Lowlands in the healthiest way possible. There are a time and a place to sip camomile tea and eat oatmeal in front of your tent, but that certainly isn't during one of the most legendary festivals of the year. This Lowlands/festival checklist truly informs you of the precautions you need to take!
Reality check: you're going to Lowlands, not a yoga retreat in Bali. There are a few things certain when you go to Lowlands. You will get a shower (in beer), you will get your nutrients (the hops in your beer) and you'll get your sleep (as long as you drink enough beer to accomplish a coma-induced sleep).
But hey: not willing to bring your own slow juicer and starting the day with the downward facing dog doesn't mean you have to die either. You can come prepared and stay rock and roll with these awesome festival items at the same time. That's why we've put together a Lowlands survival guide. A simple festival checklist that'll save your life. Do whatever you want, but don't die and then say we didn't warn you.
1. Bring your own booze and fill an empty bottle of mouthwash with vodka or whatever you're choice of poison may be.
2. We guarantee you won't be able to find your own tent when you come home from a day of drinking, dancing and everything God forbid. Be smart and bring your own flag you put next to your tent. Thank us when you see your flag waving in a sea of identical tents.
3. We know we sound like your mom, but for real: don't forget SPF or else you will end up looking like Sebastian the Crab after a whole day of being outside in the sun, feeling miserable about your flaming face and life in general. An essential one in the festival checklist, this one!
4. Crazy lines in front of the shower, gross Dixies, tent-mates who overdid their alcohol consume a tad bit: baby wipes are your answer to everything. As an extra bonus, you will smell like baby bottoms the whole weekend, which is way better than the smell of old sweat and toe-brie (sorry).
5. Bring a laminated picture of a loved one or a puppy with you to stare at when you use a day 3 festival toilet and you've lost all will to live.
6. Pack a yoga mat. No, seriously. Not to practice the downward facing dogs or do some push-ups, but to lay under your sleeping bag on. It will make all the difference when you're on a bumpy terrain.
7. Buy the cheapest pop-up tent you can find. Don't even bother to lend that fancy tent from your parents. At the end of the ride, you and your banging hangover just want to go home as quickly as possible and throw those few euro's you've spent in the bin.
8. Trying to get in front of the stage? We don't know why you'd want that claustrophobic experience, but when you're determined to go there, make sure you put on your most troubled face. People are way more willing to make way for you if you look slightly panicked.
9. Leave early. For real. You will be a zombie for the rest of the week anyway, so just get up early, pack your belongings as fast as you can and run before the big crowd follows.
Bonus: buy earplugs
We don't have to explain the why to you. We probably also don't have to explain to you which ones: Thunderplugs, boom baby! And don't forget: you can't say happiness without saying 'penis'.